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Underperforming Underworld
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Submitted:
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Genres: Fantasy, Humor & Entertainment
Book Type:Print & Digital
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Rytr
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Description
How far will one demi–god go to save his way of life–after–death?
Minos, Final Judge of Souls, is having a tough time at work.
Not only is he fed up with all the paperwork and meetings that go with running his department in the Underworld, but now the whole operation is facing a financial crisis (that’s so bad it may mean that the demons can’t have a sports package on the TV in their mess room anymore).Much to the demi–god’s dismay his boss, Hades, brings in a pair of mortal management consultants to fix the business, and it’s not long before panic is spreading through the demonic workforce.
And then things take an ungodly turn for the worse...
Minos is going to have to deal with a strange assortment of individuals and earthly situations, if he has any chance of saving the Underworld as he knows it.
Excerpt
"I really do think you need to see this, chief. It's caused quite a stir with the lads." Minos glanced down, trying to anticipate what sort of storm in a teacup was trying to ruin his afternoon.
The first thing that caught his attention was the official seal of the Underworld’s ruler adorning the top of the page. Other words started to clamour for the judge’s attention and he scooped up the document, trying to take in the most bemusing message he’d ever seen.
FROM: Hades, Ruler of the Underworld
TO: All staff
Colleagues,
It is with regret that I have to inform you that the Underworld is on the verge of collapse. Our finances are way off target and we are experiencing a serious cash-flow problem.
In the best interests of us all, I have engaged the services of the London division of the mortal management consultants Schneider, Schneider & Patterson, who will be helping to turnaround our fortunes. Non-dead representatives from the firm will spend time with each department looking at how we can improve efficiency. I expect all staff to afford the consultants their full support.
I need to be clear with you all – the way we work must change in order for us to survive.
I look forward to us achieving the success we all deserve.
Yours faithfully
Hades
Minos stared down in disbelief – nothing about this had ever been discussed during any of the board meetings. As the judge looked over the memo again, he felt a knot tighten in his stomach, a sense of panic and uncertainty ran through him.
Change?
The demi-god’s mind recoiled at the word. There was nothing wrong with the Underworld or how everything worked (besides the reams of annoying paperwork Minos had to process, but that was part and parcel of the job).
Hades has to be over-reacting…
As Minos’ mind reeled, he tugged at his small beard, each hair pinging through his fingers and curling against the bottom of his chin. The judge was astonished that Hades was reacting in this way. That the god was allowing living mortals into the kingdom. It just wasn’t done.
What sort of right do they think they have to come into the afterlife and tell us how to run things?
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